|MARCH OF THE STEAMING TURDS
This is the list of the biggest piles in this toilet world. Provided is a brief explanation as to
why the steamer is on the list.
1. Metallica - for being the washed-up, talentless, greedy, busters that started this whole
piracy war. Go sue someone else's grandma Lars!!!
2. Bill Gates - for stealing open source programming for his own private commercial use,
because he's a worthless hack who's out of ideas and can't even (with all his money) hire
a decent staff to come up with any original ideas that are worth a crap.
3. Insurance Companies - for using their money to gain political protection so that they
can steal our money and stand in the way of better health care.
4. AOL - for just being worthless crap and tricking the public into subscribing, with "free"
offers, to a service that won't stop billing you until you threaten to sue them.
5. TheTruth.com - for not telling the whole truth (like urea is also a common ingredient in
most beauty products), for sometimes straight-up lying, having a crappy website, and for
making commercials that are generally annoying to smokers and non-smokers alike.
Hey, thanks for those "this product contains urea" stickers, though. I stuck them on the
section of the isle where you buy acne treatment lotions instead of cigarette posters.
That's called vandalism, by the way. Are you infecting people with the "truth" or criminal
intent? Now whudafxup!?
6. AboveTheInfluence.com - for making commercials that make me want to do drugs and
also having a crappy site. Here's one just for you guys:
7. Larry King - for bumping Michael Moore for Paris Hilton...way to set an example for
those aspiring journalists out there! Let's get to those really important issues and ask the
tough questions, yeah right!
8. Spammers - for being spammers, of course. Who does like them? Does anyone
actually buy anything from these guys? If you do, your computer should be confiscated
9. Oprah - for being the worst thing to happen to men since eunuchs, for being a sexist,
for subjecting the world to femi-nazi propaganda through television and press, and for
being a whore for power.
10. Fat People Who Sue Fast Food Chains - for being so idiotic that you think that it's
Burger King's fault that you can't stop shoveling Whoppers and fries down your throat until
you reach your tonsils, you fat sacks. It's all driven by greed. You were fat when you
wobbled through the door. You didn't go to Burger King and wake up the next morning
unable to see your own feet!
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