|(Click Above Image To Enter The Dung Heap)
|Introduction to the Dung Heap
I have spent countless hours trying to decide what would be the exact format for
the Dung Heap, what would be the right subject to begin with, and what exactly
will be the point to the whole thing anyway. Well, here's how it begins... with this
introduction which will provide the basic overview and serve as a warning and
disclaimer for all who read the articles posted here.
The vanity and pure idiocy of American society can only be rivaled by the
moronic pseudo-journalists and special interest groups that complain and
"blog" about it continuously until even the most informed and "stable" members
of our communities can no longer distinguish between right and wrong, what's
important and what's meaningless, and who are the heroes and the villains.
Everything that we were told was good for us, turned out to be killing us. Every
medical breakthrough and miracle drug has turned out to have a list of side
effects that makes the Book of Leviticus look like light, bathroom reading. Which
you might as well read that list in the bathroom because that's where you'll be
spending the better part of your day as you scrub, clip, gargle, rinse, primp,
prune, spray (non-aerosol of course), brush, pluck, crap, dab, floss, repeat (if
desired), apply liberally, leave on for several minutes, crap again (gotta have
fiber), sanitize, purify, and wash all the grey, wrinkles, general ugliness, and risks
of cancer away. After you're done with that you can go to the pharmacy and fill
that prescription that your PCP (which, according to the dictionary, is either a
health care professional authorized by your HMO, or an anesthetic with
hallucinogenic effects... ironic, huh?) has written for you after shaking your
hand, nodding, and smiling while you told him about the horrific symptoms
you've been plagued with since you started taking that medicine he gave you the
last time you came in with a frown and were feeling a bit sad. Now go home and
repeat the whole process while you read the list of side effects that your cure for
the other side effects is going to cause you. Unlike McDonald's, where smiles are
free, this is the price of a smile in our society. And speaking of cost, you can take
the bill for all of this into the bathroom with you tomorrow because your HMO
(which according to the dictionary, is either a "corporation" whose member
physicians provide "curative" and "preventive" medicine to enrolled "volunteer"
members and their families, or a Hazardous Materials Operation) doesn't cover
any of it.
We live in a society where homosexuals have parades to show everyone just
how gay parades really are, and homophobics (or as they're more commonly
known, closet homosexual inbreds) protest the parades by coming "to the
parades" with wives that would turn any man gay and holding up signs quoting
God (a proud moment for God no doubt) as if He made every toothless,
banjo-playing water-head that ever married his brother's daughter the
spokesperson for the Almighty Creator of the universe. Meanwhile just one block
away, a man, who couldn't care less about any of it, is holding up a sign of his
own. It just says "Will work for food." I hand the guy a ten-spot, and he smiles. I
know why he smiles. It's because that will get him a nice, big bottle of cheap
vodka to make the tremors stop and the monsters in his head go away. I was
going to spend it on a couple packs of Newports. Who needed it more?
If you haven't been offended yet, hold on. I'll get to you in a minute. The Southern
Baptist Convention is speaking out against Teletubbies and Freemasons. Of
course we all know the connection there... um... I got nothing. I do know that after
Jerry Falwell mouthed off about America deserving the 9/11 attack because it
was God's wrath against gays and feminists, his son sent out a letter to all the
good Christian folk in the country saying that his father was being attacked by
"the fiery darts of Satan" because of his comments, and a check for $50-$100
would make it all better. Well, I for one, would be Satan's rec-room dart board if
22,000 people would send me a check for $100.
All jokes aside, money seems to be more important to Christianity than Christ.
That can easily be seen on Falwell's own website. Go ahead to www.falwell.com
and look at the menu on the left side of the screen. The first thing listed is
"Secure Purchases". Now look down at the very last thing on the list... "Who is
Christ?". I didn't click on that one, because I have no interest in knowing the
version of "Christ" that people like Falwell and his SBC minions have concocted
to justify their greed-driven hatred. On the other side of the coin, I popped over to
www.shrinershq.org to see what evils my fraternal brothers were into that has
the SBC all up in arms. To be fair, I looked in the exact same area of the page that
I did on Falwell's site. What does it say? "If you know of a child Shriners
Hospitals might be able to help, please call our toll-free patient referral line."
Then 17 items down, I found a link to make online donations. Again, at the
bottom of the page, I found a site map with the very last menu option being a
For those of you who don't know, Shriners are basically a sect of Freemasons
who operate NO-PAY hospitals for children. That means you can not pay for their
services. They are free, paid for by donations, fund raising events, and other
Masons. Yes, Masons... the "evil, pagan, occult secularists" that so threaten
good Christian organizations like the SBC, Cutting Edge Ministries (bringers of
the informative seminars "Secret Societies Killed Jesus Christ" and "Demolay:
Kindergarten for Satanism"...I swear I'm not making this up... uh oh... there I go
swearing again!), and the Jesus Name Apostolic Holiness Church (who provide
very helpful and loving advice like: "Does this Apostolic Jesus Christianity seem
foreign and alien to you? If so, it just means that you are on the road to hell, and
that is grievous. I hope this helps - Rev. Steve Winter"). Again, I swear I didn't
make this up! See for yourself at www.onenesschristian.org and take a look at
that Rev. Lewis E. Manuwal ...that's the name he's going by. I didn't make that up.
Oooooh ...I'll not rest well tonight after viewing that devilish mug. That's right,
everybody. Send your money to the real moral backbone of America. All the
Freemasons will do with it is provide transportation and medical treatment to
children. We have to stop them! If more people did that, what would become of
the insurance companies?
Everything just seems so far out-of-whack that, when you stop and take an
honest look around, you feel like you're living inside a parody of the real world.
We've become our own joke, and the comedy is being narrated by a bunch of
weblog authors whose only point of reference is other weblogs, because they
live inside an artificial world we've named cyberspace. Go outside! There's a real
sky up there, and you don't need a high resolution screen setting to see its true
colors... you just need eyes. Best part... you don't need to order those from Dell.
You were born with them! They're right there in the front part of that empty head
of yours! Sure, you're offended. Well, I'm offended when I go to download a
theme for my new version of Firefox, and I see reviews with statements like
"something about the 'Next' and 'Back' buttons, I found unsettling". What is
going on in your life that you can be rattled by the appearance of a button? If the
shape, color, or placement of a button in your browser can offset your mental
state, you should go immediately to the nearest psychiatric facility and ask for a
room with soft walls and a high dose of Thorazine. They called my generation
"Generation-X" because of our search for an identity, and we're running out of
letters. I guess this is "Generation-WHY?" and next up is "Z" or ,as our German
friends would say, "Z" end.
This should be enough to give you some indication as to what the articles here
will be like. It's not my aim to attack or hurt anyone with my words. It's just a vain
hope that my blunt and honest statements might make a few people see that the
change that our world needs can only come when we can look at each other and
ourselves, laugh at our folly, and just simply... change.
- "Scary" Jerry
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